To New Beginnings...

    January 1st has many anticipated expectations. Some are met, some are disappointing, and then some are just anticipated for the sake of the feeling of a new start and challenge. There is something magical about the night before a new year begins, despite the fact that we never look at January 31st or any end of any month as anything but the end of a month. This leads me to wonder why it is that we (as in humans) decided that the month of January is the special month to start fresh. That December would be the end of a year and we would celebrate that along with the a new beginning. Is this all created to help motivate people? To create such anticipation that people feel empowered to be better, to be dedicated, to refine their life and to make good on promises to themselves and/or others? Looking at the media and seeing how many people got engaged last night, or how many people posted their New Year's Resolutions should show you how much New Years means to people and how motivating it can be. On the flip side, these expressions can also be seen as an invitation to connect and hold accountable those who are posting and declaring their new challenges and life changes. Beginnings are important, but in order to carry them through we need to rely on someone/thing to help us accomplish our goals.

    Regardless, there is still something special about being able to see life through a temporary and new lens. sometimes it just takes a little alteration in how we think to make an impact on how we live life. When we find out we have a purpose, a challenge, or an assignment, it tends to simplify our life by giving us something to focus on daily. We now feel like we can accomplish our goal because it is our focus, we are no longer floundering around trying to make a difference, or even wondering if we ARE making a difference. We are on our way to say in the end that we made a change in our lives, because we accomplished our goals. If it was as easy as that, we would be a very accomplished group of people, but then again, nothing would be as rich or valued with out going through tough times of faltering, or feeling weak/unable. I believe God creates passions and challenges specific to our personalities to one: draw us together, and two: draw us into a more passionate relationship with Him. 

    Any new beginning has it shiny appeal. When we decide to embark on a journey of  any kind; whether through self discovery  or any type of change or alteration in our lives, we are bound to need support, community and flexibility. However, a lot of times we will go into a challenge thinking that we can make anything happen/work, by just being who we are... because after all we are awesome and have the super ability to specifically accomplish any task on our own... God knows this about us, He created us and knows our weakness and our strengths, He knows we need to be in community because of this, we need relationship. However, He also knows the plans He has for us, plans to prosper us, not to harm us, plans for a future and hope. I believe if we really just took each day to understand this, we would be more successful in our obedience... and more purposeful in our interactions with life. 

    Chau and I took this into consideration with moving to a new state. We knew there would be challenges, that we would be leaving family and friends, as well as, have to adjust out of our comfort zones to make friends up here. We knew that we were going into this move on faith that God will provide for our needs and that we would be refined individually and as a couple. We knew that even though I had no job lined up prior to the move, (despite the 8 months of searching) he gave us hope in our future. He allowed us to anticipate a new beginning, one filled with empowerment and a focus to find our purpose as a couple and to be changed. We were going to make a difference.
      Now that we are up here, we are... being changed, stretched, hopeful and feeling empowered. It is approaching a year (9 months...holy moly), and I can say that there has been significant change in our life, a refocusing and a major faith challenge that has led us to deepen and strengthen our reliance upon God. This stretching has caused a chain reaction that has renewed our minds, and transformed us. I can not really pinpoint when this happens, but can appreciate the depth of understanding that flows from going through things that are out of my comfort zone. This experience, declaration of a new beginning and faith walk we embarked on has resulted in an ongoing conversation with our creator and a greater empathy for those around us. The best part is we just had to be willing, and dream with God in order to feel like we were promised a new start (regardless of the month or year) to our life together.
   Blessings for this new year, and may you all dream with God daily, be encouraged and purposeful in your relationship and reliance on Him. We are thankful with excitement and anticipation to see what plans He has...Here's to 2014!

~Jess & Chau

Jeremiah 29:11

Shaken and Stirred

    A few days ago I was straining myself to feel content with where I am in this process of finding out where I am meant to be concerning my career. It has been an interesting process working in a job where I deal with a lot of customers who are far from content with where they are in life, and often show it through frustration and impatience while feeling rushed to get their coffee. In those moments of receiving their frustration, or witnessing it, I always feel a responsibility to pause, consider where they are coming from, and turn away from wanting to express my feelings of being wronged by them. However, I can't always shake the feeling that it should be different. People shouldn't be allowed to treat people in a rude, condescending, self righteous or disrespectful way- it's not excusable, it doesn't matter who you are or where you come from, your behavior is your responsibility, even if you really need coffee:).
     Today there was another incident where I just thought to myself, why is it that the people that are the loudest, pushy or most demanding, often get the reward of what they want? Or perhaps someone who just yelled at you felt justified to do so, because they were previously yelled at.  I'm sure I'm not alone in feeling or noticing the decline of respect and consideration, but as a Christian how are we supposed to handle these situations?
    As I was on my way to work a few days ago, while listening to the radio, a man called in and said something that has really resonated with me. He was explaining how he was infuriated by road rage, angry and wanted to react but didn't due to trying to set a good example for his kids and get to church safely. Once they arrived at church, he started to relax a bit, but couldn't shake his rage about what had happened. As the sermon started, he realized the pastor was talking about Christians being set apart and the difficulty of living in this world and not being of this world. The pastor went on to say that the struggle in this life is continual due to us being apart of the fallen race, and our flesh flares up in times of pride, which triggers our fallen self. Only when we realize the fight is no longer ours, (that when Christ died on the cross, He alone removed the weight of responsibility of having to earn our freedom in Christ, from being saved solely by our abilities) can we separate our-self from being pulled down and included in the world's view of sanctification.
     The pastor then gave a visual (may not be exactly word for word, but what I got from the description) Imagine a bottle used to scoop up water from the ocean. While scooping some water, sand got into the bottle and started to settle at the bottom, eventually becoming separated, completely settled- a lot like when we trust in God and give our lives to Him we are at peace and are trusting Him to control the details and interactions in our lives. However, when we loose focus, and allow our self to get caught in becoming riled up because something is not as we would like it, we are shaken and stirred. We become discontent and things become foggy and distressed, much like a bottle of water and sand shaken up, we lose clarity.
  I don't know why this resonated so well with me, but it gave me peace and helped me to remove how I felt about heading into a job that I am not necessarily passionate about, (besides the coffee, that is) and the stress of waiting to hear about potential career opportunities and then reminded me that I have a God who is faithful, one who has plans to prosper me, not to harm me...and that this job, is a job that is apart of his plan. Theses people are apart of his plan, and I am in the process of being refined in a loving process. I am thankful for the struggle, that it is not up to me and the blessing of living in a place where I can reflect on God's love freely and hear from people of faith share their wisdom. During my shift, I received a text from a past manager, who informed me that there were two inquiries from a district I had just applied to, asking for a reference for me, from him. I have yet to hear anything but feel blessed and joyful that this is a possibility. If not, I know God has something good in store, made just for me and my refinement.
    I read later that night a devotional called, Ending Your Day Right, by Joyce Meyers. The devotional reflected the earlier message I heard on the radio, and the only thing I can say, is that it gave me so much joy. The last line of her devotional for that night said, when ever you are feeling uncertain or down, just focus on and say this mantra, "God has something good for me today".
   Although I still get "shaken up, I know that God has something in the works and I feel more reassured than ever that God has something good for us!

Living Life Fully Alive...

   Over the past two weeks I feel like there have been moments of great joy and hope along with some dire times of concern and anxiousness. I have taken some time to process what it is to be successful, happy, and purposeful with my life. I believe that Chau and I have taken the first step toward what we want for our lives and the quality of life that we strive to incorporate daily. So far, despite the lack of a full time job for me, we have felt completely at peace with our decision to move up here and explore a new area, and rediscover who we are as a couple. We have been blessed with family visiting, friends staying with us, visiting and planning trips up here, as well as, rediscovering old friendships that are now blossoming into regular meetings and purposeful investment in making our community up here.
     Don't get me wrong, we definitely miss our community at home, greatly! And are thankful that we have your prayers, support and love consistently. I thank God that you are all in our lives and still consider us dear friends despite the distance. I take comfort in the thought of reaching out or receiving calls where we can pick up right where we left off. And for those where life continues to consume our time, know that I will always see our friendship as purposeful in my life and look forward to connect soon!
    Now, in the last two weeks, We have both experienced the uncertainty of being far away from family when crisis takes place, learned and relearned God is in charge of our circumstances and will bless any situation, despite how we feel. Have questioned our place in this plan of God's master orchestration, and regrouped to find that what we think and pursue, can change in an instant.
   The way I have come to see life (ever changing and developing) in the past two years is this... There are two (probably more) ways to function on a daily basis. One can live life in a safe environment, going with what works, makes people happy, allowing life to pass by with out tapping into the depth of who God has made them to be to the full extent, but still being content. Or, one can live life fully alive. This second option is a difficult one to achieve, because it takes risk, time, uncertainty and is scary, although I feel has personally brought me the purest joy. I am not saying one has to begrudgingly go sky diving, spelunking, or swim with the sharks after watching shark week, to live life fully alive (possibly until a dangerous end). What I am saying is God created us uniquely, to greatly impact each other in community. To work in an environment that suits you to make a difference naturally with the talents and gifts he has designed in you. Often times, I feel that our careers or social environmental norms are created by making generalizations-which become the norm in order to fulfill a quota. We no longer look for the natural gifts that make a difference for everyone involved, if engaged. More and more, I feel that encouragement is lacking in everyday communities that helps individuals differentiate what is unique about them, and therefore, would help them to pursue avenues that would help them flourish. I think we have to fight for ourselves as well as for others  and what is good for life aligned with God.  "Love your neighbor as yourself" (the second command in Matthew 22:38). How can we do this better, when we live in a world of people not seeing the value of who they are, or are bullying those around them due to their own insecurities. There is a lot more defensive living than offensive living these days. But ask yourself this, how refreshing is it when someone pays you a complement? Or helps you in someway, just out of kindness? How much more life do those acts of kindness and love breathe into your day? It fuels a fire deep within you to be purposeful or a desire to influence people's lives in a positive and uplifting way. It also restores faith in community, and therefore influences a movement to make this world a more loving place to be.
    A few months ago, I was introduced to a friend of Chau's who selflessly helped me (with out knowing me) get into the sub pool in a desired district up here just by taking the step of telling me that it was accepting applications way back in November. Now, upon interviewing I spoke with a few other candidates who said they had been waiting and attempting to get into the sub pool for four plus years. I got in, which I have to say was an oddity because the amount of time to apply was less than a week. I thank God for that and know that he works through people to bless others. Another blessing was hearing from the same friend after finally meeting (and her throwing me a mini birthday party), that she thought we should hang out more often, and that she really liked me. I can not express how refreshing and touching it was to feel immediately accepted and encouraged by who I was naturally. I did not have to pretend, act a certain way or impress, I just was and I was told that I was liked. Why do we not do this naturally? Is it fear or pain? It can be hard to give from your heart, but I have to say I experienced pure joy and couldn't remember another time where after being met for the first time that I knew I was liked and accepted by someone who took the time and effort to just plainly say it, and not assume that I would know.
   I know I have been blessed with good friends who are more like family, who protect and push for my success and I am ever grateful for each of you and all you have done. You have each helped to make me who I am now and will continue to influence me daily. We all need mirrors to see who we are and what we look like to others, I hope to be a good reflection for each of you. As well as, how you come to understand how I see you, to be a positive and uplifting experience.  I pray that I come to those I meet as an accepting and loving person who is encouraging not judgmental. Nor that I be fearful of how I come across to the other person. Rather, to be a genuine person, encouraging them to be who God has made them, and not how others (including myself) would selfishly like them. All in all, I pray that we all take a step back from ourselves, and step toward uplifting someone besides us. You never know the importance of that connection, or the influence it can have on your community in which you live daily. Why live in a world of strangers, when you can live in a world full of friends?
   Love you all,
                    Jess
  

Cultivating Community

        One of the most valuable words of wisdom that Chau and I received upon leaving Southern California, was to get planted in a church right away up in Portland to cultivate a community.




        Growing up I have to say that I was surrounded by community. On a daily basis, I would run into someone I knew, grew up with, attended school with, someone who knew my mom, dad, brother, more specifically my mom from 2 weeks ago, a year ago, from college, high school, junior high, etc.; They may have had my grandma as a teacher, lived on the same block growing up, met in the grocery store- well you get the idea...I was well known through my family,  and there was 2 degrees of separation rather than 6 (kevin Bacon was my next door neighbor.... J/K) To give you another idea, one time I was at work at a store in Upland, and a man came in and asked if I was Joanne's daughter...I did not know this man and he did not know my name, nor where I came from, but knew I looked like my mom- turns out he went to high school with her. All this to say, once in college, it was a weird thing to not be immersed in this interconnected community. I felt alienated in a way, which I am sure a lot of people go through this, but it was definitely a new challenge to feel like myself with out the huge network of people who knew so & so in my family.
   I learned how to grow into myself, and find my own community, but again as time went by, friends left to move back home and before I knew it I was graduating and yet again looking for community.
When I met Chau there was a very different story with him and his experience with community. I met Chau and immediately became apart of his community- He has been very blessed since high school to have a solid group of people who have walked continually through life with him. I have seen how each person has invested and valued a friendship with him. This was a very blessed experience for me, because I truly believe this is what Jesus modeled for us to live life like. I desired this and was able to experience interaction like this with our church Life group and loved and valued every moment of it (I definitely miss it).
   Presently, Chau and I are in the midst of redefining what Community is and where we should continue to seek. We are very thankful for having such a strong background reference of community, but also have some things to sort out as far as what this looks like in Portland. Has anyone struggled with this that has any tips or suggestions?I am not sure if people can actually respond to our blog, but if you can I would love some feedback on this, or you can email us @ both510@icloud.com ...Our main struggle (at least mine), is trying to let go of our last experience {as far as the expectations that it should be exactly same:)} and being patient to cultivate a healthy experience with new people. Prayers would be appreciated. Even though we are meeting people through work/ other people, it can be a lonely process not having a good Christian support group locally. I can totally identify with the Corinthian's need for Paul's letters and his need for their support now....Thanks for faithfully keeping up with us- you all definitely help us to know we are supported from afar!

Time is a funny thing...

   It's been nice despite the job search, to be able to have time to slow down a bit, and go through a number of boxes that have needed to be sorted through for quite a while. Even though there has been more time for this, it seems as though time has flown by. We are going into our fourth month up here and I can't believe it. I never thought the transition of moving to a new area would be smooth, but I have to say, beside the job search pitfalls with me, this transition has been a good one, with still a lot to discover and experience.
  I think the best part about this experience so far is seeing God's hand in our lives, relationship, friends and in His timing. We miss the comforts and familiarity of  what was home to us for 29 years, our families, and friends, but have seen how God even provides little comforts or reminders of what we need and gives to us when we need it. We have also seen how our true hearted friends have been encouraging and supportive, while giving us grace in this major transition. It has been such a blessing to hear from them, and be encouraged!
  One of the best blessings was to get to see some of you and my family two weeks ago, I guess it just makes us not feel so far away, when people you love come to visit! I look forward to many more friends and family coming through Portland, and for our trips down to Cali- to visit as well. I know that there will be stability soon, and Chau and I look forward to that day to be able to see our dreams come to life up here even more, or where ever God may lead us. :) Time will tell what it is that I am meant to pursue, same with Chau, and we are definitely excited to be walking with Him in this process, even if it seems like time feels slow but is actually passing quickly.
   

Life... full circle

     I swear I will be better at writing this blog on a more consistent basis. I thought since I do not have a full time job yet, that it would be easier to fill my time with blogging. This has obviously not been the case and I will work on that!
    As of now I have to say that the last two weeks have been filled with stress, joy and exhaustion. I loved being apart of my Cousin's wedding party, celebrating with her the new commitment she has been preparing for (for well over a year) finally come to fruition! Seeing my loving family and getting precious time after years of business, to sit down and spend it talking and updating.

STRESS: Is waiting to hear back multiple times for a job that I was looking forward to, getting the opportunity to go on a 4th interview (after two months of waiting) the day of the rehearsal of my cousin's wedding. Waiting again to hear back only to find out that they decided to go with someone else. Needless to say I am feeling a bit exhausted, but strangely still feeling joyful, and hopeful that we are heading in the right direction. Don't get me wrong, I am definitely disappointed and wish I knew the Why's of all the unknown reasons as to our current situation, but I am joyful that I have a husband who looks to God as knowing the reasons being good enough. As well as, that he encourages me to know that the disappointments in what we expect are not disappointments to God, rather it's a directive from God that he wants us somewhere else. For me I am not entirely sure where that is anymore (career wise). From my perspective, I have worked hard to become a teacher, or at least to work in the education field. I have a passion for working with individuals to help them achieve their greatest potential in the now, as well as, long term. I have my credential in k-8th with single subject specialties, my Masters in Education, and no job to validate all the education and time I have put into this field. However, I still love being around kids, and interacting with adults who want to better their lives with education. I seem to keep running into dead ends. I also am wondering if this is still my passion. Maybe this move up to Oregon is to show me that there is something out there that will fulfill me more that what I could have expected or wanted in the education field. Earlier on I wrote about looking into Occupational Therapy, and I am starting to think (rationally or irrationally) that this may be a direction I should dig deeper into, to see if there is something in this field that is meant specifically for me. Regardless of what direction I go, I pray that I am seeking God continually to allow for me to end up where He needs me. Prayers are appreciated for this as well!

 

JOY: Is seeing my cousin get married to her fiancé/now husband! And in return be able to see most of my family that I have not seen in three months or more likely years! I am joyful that I was able to sit and catch up with my Cousins, my Aunts, my Brother, and my Mom, Jay, Kim, and Jason. Nothing is more satisfying then being able to catch up on life with those you love. God provides even in the midst of stress and an overwhelming feeling of deadlines to make something like a wedding and gathering of people from all over the United States come inline to make it a joyful event. On another note, Chau was told by his managers that they are looking to start him on the manager track and have asked him to take the test this Friday to get him started in the right direction. All this to say we are still sorting out our thoughts about this, but definitely feel thankful that he is being recognized for his hard work and dedication to the job. In fact he was just surprised with an award and pin for his 5 years of service with the company yesterday.

EXHAUSTION: After all I have been apart of and the sense of not knowing what direction I am headed, I am feeling exhausted emotionally. Yet I know that there is more to come, both the good and the bad. I also know that I have much to learn about being content with the "right now" instead of trying to steal a glance at God's future for me. This has been a tough lesson for a planner like me... yet I know that God created me to be me, and that there is definitely a fulfilling career for me out there, I just have more adventures to partake in before I get there.

I hope you all have a wonderful 4th of July! We will be watching the Music Man and The Sandlot as our tradition stands!

Moving Forward

    Over the past two weeks I have helped celebrate/prepare for the beginning of an upcoming Marriage, celebrated our third anniversary:), had three interviews (two with one company, and one with a new prospective job,  been cleared for teaching/ substituting up here (finally), met new friends, grieved for an old friend who passed away suddenly, celebrated birthdays, and have most recently gone through a remodel at Starbucks, AND received a call back for a second/third interview for a full time position for which I am really hoping. Needless to say, I have been a bit busy with change. Chau has also had his run in with change and moving forward. He has been assigned a work route that is conveniently not too far from our neighborhood and is enjoying the short commute!
   Although this time has been challenging up here, with out two full time jobs, and the adjustment to the way of life in Oregon, it now feels as if things are falling into place. I still have to wait to see where I will be working full time, but I am seeing things move forward, which has a weird way of settling my spirit and boosting my hope. Even though there are still irritations and disappointments, it becomes less despairing when I feel like change is coming. It seems as though God's timing, his pathways and lessons are continually preparing the way to help us adapt and move in the right direction daily.
  If you would, please pray for my third interview coming up at an unknown (hopefully near) date. I am really excited for this opportunity to work for a company whose main goal is to encourage and help guide students to their goal of graduating. I am looking forward to the possibility of having some type of job stability and routine up here:). On another note, this weekend, in celebration of our three years together, we are taking a train tour for the day of Hood River and Mt. Hood. We feel so blessed and are excited to explore more of this beautiful environment in which we live!